Missing You
by Hell-and-bliss
Summary: An evening of boredom at the precinct makes Javi becoming nostalgic. Yes, he misses her. One Shot, Esplanie. Javier's POV in the end. Enjoy!


**Holaaaaaa everyone! I'm happy post my new Esplanie OS :) Based from one of my French thing, I wanted to translate in English, first because I love this language and practising it, and second, because I love having more feedbacks and even more spreading the Esplanie love. Because they clearly don't get enough love in the fandom. But damn, they're amazing together. I'm in love with them. Okay, that's not a big news ^^  
**

******So here's my new little thing. Not too long. Mostly Javier POV. Kinda nostalgic and a bit sad. But also sexy at some point...Oh well, you'll see lol.**

****** T****ook me two days to translate it from my beautiful French tongue (oh yeah, I'm slow lol.), and here we go! **Hope you'll enjoy as much I as did writing it._  
_

******PS : For the record, I love reviews as much as I love L/E together ;)  
**

******...  
**

_Missing you._

Paperwork was boring as hell. It was the only part of his work Javier Esposito wasn't fond of. First and foremost, he had chosen to be a cop to protect and save people, not to stay behind his desk and waste his precious time writing some useless things nobody would even care reading in the end. Not even Gates, he was sure.

The Latin detective deeply sighed as he looked around him.

It was already late; almost 8 PM, and Kevin was gone a long time ago. Same for "Caskett". Javier knew he could actually leave as well and finish the damn paperwork in the morning on Monday, but as he had no plans for tonight, not even a drink with some old army friends, absolutely nothing, well, he just had decided to stay a little longer. After all, why not. But hell yes, it was boring.

Javier dropped his pen on his desk and grabbed in phone from his pocket to distract himself a little.

Of course. Not _even_ one missed call, or a tiny text to fill his boredom. Honestly, even some advertising text would have made him happy at this point.

He put his phone on his desk - well, on all the mess recovering his desk, because with all the papers he used for work, and the miscellaneous papers (advertising flyers, old notes, and even some old used tissues) he didn't bin yet, he couldn't actually see the wood of his desk anymore.

It was Friday, the day he usually took time to clean his desk before leaving for the weekend. And he knew he still had to do it, at that moment. But looking at all the stuff on his desk was deeply discouraging him.

Speaking of which, one particular flyer suddenly drew his attention. Javier frowned and grabbed it. It was an advertising about a price reduction. More accurately, for a ski holiday in the Belleayre Mountain, just a few hours away of New York.

The Belleayre Mountain.

Oh.

This name was familiar. Javier looked endlessly at the little paper between his fingers, as a particular memory from last year came into his mind.

.

_Flask Back_

_Javier Esposito jumped onto the bed with so much brutality that Lanie Parish, still asleep and snuggled in the sheets, almost jumped herself, utterly surprised. _

_She raised her __head from the pillow __and turned her head __to look at him, __her sleepy eyes__ still __fluttering__._

"_Javi?" she muttered, barely waken up._

"_Hola, chica." was his answer, as he leaned down to kiss her on the forehead._

"_Slept well?"_

"…_until someone woke me up with the grace and delicacy of an elephant, yeah." She retorted, eyeing him with a little grin. A big chunk of her messy long hair was hiding her pretty face, and she pulled it away._

_He laughed._

_"Sorry."  
_

_Lanie stared at him, slowly realizing that he was actually all ready for work. Indeed, he was wearing his jeans and shirt, and even his cop plate around his neck, as usual. _

_She frowned._

_"Ready for work? What time it is… "  
_

_She turned her head to the clock on her nightstand. Only 6:40AM._

_"Early, you have plenty of time, don't worry. I just…. I just had something to do this morning."_

_Lanie sighed as she sat up in bed, adjusting one of the straps of her nightgown._

"_Well," she started, running a hand on her sleepy face, "Hope you have a very good reason to wake me up like that."_

_He smiled._

"_Actually, yep, I do."_

_Then she saw him handing her an envelope, he had hidden before behind his back._

_" Here. For you. » he quickly said as he gave it to her. Lanie took it, raising her eyebrows, and kept staring at him for a few seconds, surprised. _

"_What is that…?"  
_

_Javier tenderly smiled to her, suddenly feeling like Santa in front of a little girl._

_"Open and you'll know. " _

_With a delightful grin, Lanie carefully opened the envelope and pulled out a small paper she stared at for a few seconds before looking up at him with her beautiful and shiny black eyes._

_"Reservation__ for two, __at the __Belleayre Montain Resort, on Christmas Eve weekend? Baby! That's amazing…Thank you!"_

_She grabbed __his chin__ and quickly kissed him __on the lips. _

"_They booked it last night, and I received the email this morning…wanted to print it before you wake up." He said with a smile, kinda proud of himself. _

_She returned his smile, then she looked down at the reservation for a few seconds, chewing her lips. _

_Javier knew her by heart. Something was wrong._

_He stared at her for a few seconds before talking._

"…_You hate it, huh?"_

_She looked up at him, with widened eyes._

"… _You kidding me?"_

_Javier frowned even more surprised by her reaction._

"_Then...what? You don't really seem happy 'bout it."_

_Now, Javier could even detect some sadness in her eyes. And disappointment, too._

_She looked down, avoiding his gaze, and kept biting her lower lip. _

"_Javi…"_

_Oh, he hated this tone._

_She __exhaled deeply __and __raised her__eyes to him again._

"_I'm sorry, I forgot.. I can't go with you."she confessed._

_He frowned, again._

"_Why?"_

_" I'm on call that weekend. " _

"_Oh."_

"_They just told me one week ago. All the M.E before me were the previous years and I just couldn't say no. I'm sorry I didn't tell you yet. I didn't think we would talk about it that early and…" __she whispered__ with __disappointment,__ softly stroking __his unshaven cheek._

"_I'm sorry."_

_Javier smiled and shook his head. But Lanie could perfectly detect some disappointment in his shy smile._

"_It's okay."_

"_No, it's not. You planed all this for us and I screw up…"_

_She wasn't even looking at him anymore. __Javier grabbed her hand which still was on his cheek._

"_Hey, you didn't."_

_His voice was almost a whisper, as he squeezed her fingers._

"_Not your fault if you're on call, chica. Besides, I'm gonna ask to be on call as well. Maybe we'd end up working together on Christmas day. What do you think? You and me having a little dirty 'rendez vous' in the morgue…I could offer you a special present…" he smiled and didn't finish his sentence, playfulness everywhere in his deep brown eyes._

_But Lanie didn't smile back. Instead, her eyes widened again._

"…_Excuse me?"_

"_What? It's not like we never did "it" out there…"_

_She rolled her eyes and __gave him __a flick __on the arm__._

"_Stop it. I'm not talking about that. You're not serious, right? __"_  


_"About to be on call for Christmas, with you? Yes __ma'am. _"

_She slowly shook her head._

_"Javi….don't cancel your holiday because of me…You already planned everything…Go with Ryan !"_

_Javier __giggled, shaking his head again._

"_Oh, brilliant idea. I'm sure he'd rather spend the weekend with his work partner than with his fiancé."_

_He eyed her._

"_Please."_

_Lanie rolled her eyes again._

"_Don't be silly…Jenny can go with you, guys. You'd have fun, I'm sure. And you know you're way more than his work partner. You're his best friend, his bro, his other half…»_

_Javier raised his palm, laughing again._

"_Wow, stop it. Okay for the first two, but the last one's for you." he whispered, just before kissing her forehead again._

_Lanie smiled, __inwardly fangirling for what he just said._

_"Look, I don't wanna go with him…or anyone else. The only person I wanna go with, is you."_

"_You're so damn cute…come here." was all she could manage to answer, before her lips were on his again for a quick but _yet _energetic __kiss._

"_What about your family?" she whispered when she broke the kiss, her forehead still against his._

"_In Puerto Rico, to visit la famila. Old cousins, aunts, and stuff."_

_Lanie nodded._

" _I see…I'm sorry I spoilt your little surprise." _

_"Hey, stop it. You didn't spoil anything. We'll go another time."_

_She nodded, but he could see she was still disappointed, disappointed to actually disappoint him. _

"_Yeah." _

_Javier tenderly smiled at her and squeezed her fingers again._

"_What about New Year's Eve…You have plans? »_

_Lanie revealed her beautiful white teeth as she smiled with all she had, like a little girl._

_« Now I do. » _

"_You're not the ME on call that day, right?" he checked._

"_Nope. This year, Perlmutter will be the one drinking Champagne with corpses."_

_He laughed.  
_

"_Perfect, then. I'll call them later today to change the booking."_

_She kept smiling at him for a few seconds, without talking. He couldn't help but wonder why she was looking at him like that. _

"…_what?"_

"_Nothing. I mean..."  
_

_She smiled, looking down at his fingers __mingled_ _with_ _hers, as she searched for her words._

"_I think it's adorable, the way you want to spend Christmas with me."_

_That was probably the silliest thing she ever said, but there, she said it. She was still playing with his fingers as his eyes widened._

"…_Really? »_

_"Yeah, really."_

_"And why?"_

_She shrugged._

_"Don't know….guess because it means that you wanna stay with me until then…I mean…I love the way you plan things for us."_

_A quick laugh escaped his mouth._

"_Chica, we're in September. Good thing I hope we'll still be together 'til December!"_

_She shrugged again._

"_Well…Everything can change in four months, you know…" she joked, playing now with his detective plate. She __pulled it straight over his head and threw it __further on the bed. Javier barely realized this action of her, too focused on what she just said._

_He chuckled but frowned, and stared at her, as she was now slowly unbuttoning his shirt._

"_Wow, thanks. So you're gonna dump me before Christmas?"_

_Laughing, Lanie shook her head._

"_No, silly. __You won't get rid of__me that easily ..."__she__a dded __with a charming tone as she started to remove his shirt, while her lips were suddenly against his mouth again, in no time. Of course, he didn't complain, responded_ _languidly to her kiss, but didn't help her removing his shirt. He actually loved when she was doing all the work, sometimes. And he never had enough of her soft fingers on his skin anyway._

"_Great. Because I don't wanna get rid of you, doc." he stammered against her lips, before kissing her again._

_"Good answer, detective…" she breathed during the kiss._

_She was __completely __purring against his lips, then after a few moments, she let his mouth go and started kissing every single piece of skin of his cheek and chin. A few minutes later, she was tirelessly worshipping his neck, __intoxicated by__his cologne_,_ and all Javier could do was letting her doing it. Because, when it came to her, he was utterly powerless. _

_Then, she lay __on him__, making him __wobble __onto the bed, below her.__ He loved feeling her, on him, and he began to gently touch her thigh and her hip, through the satin of her nightgown. __He let her __kiss his neck__, __a delighted smile on his lips, __but a few seconds later, he__ was unfortunately __disturbed by __the ringing of his __phone __from __the pocket of his pants._

_He tried __to regain __his senses a little and grabbed his phone in a sigh. Well, it didn't stopped Lanie on her mission._

"_It's…Beckett." he mouthed, after reading the text in no time. "She's on her way to our suspect's house to pick him up…"_

"_Good for her."_

"_And she…waits…for me."_

"_Traffic is a bitch in the morning, she knows that."_

_Javier laughed._

"_Lanie…I don't wanna get rid of you…except when my boss waits for me, I…" he started, but utterly distracted by __what she__was doing, he didn't – no, he couldn't finish his sentence._

"_Yeah, yeah, yeah…" she purred again, kissing between his neck and shoulder. Oh God. And now, __he could even feel __her talented hands__ ran __through his whole body__, making his muscles shivering absolutely everywhere._

_"Baby…stop it. "  
_

_"You're not really convincing, you know…hope you're better in the interrogation room." _

_Her hand was now caressing his crotch, and he couldn't really resist or even couldn't control his arousal._

_He deeply swallowed._

"_God, Lanie…I …really…gotta go…" _

_Well at least, he was trying._

_Finally, Lanie stopped kissing his neck and looked up at him with her adorable brown eyes and even a cute little pout._

"_Wow. Stop it."_

"_Stop what?" she pouted again with an innocent face._

"_Stop your…whole face, the puppy dog eyes…everything. Besides, the eyes you're doing? It is initially my thing."_

_"Relax, baby…I just want to thank you for your adorable surprise….unless you don't want me to." she muttered with a very sensual voice._ _And then she leaned down and kissed his cheek again, several times._

"_I…" he swallowed. " I do. And I really appreciate the thought, really, but…"_

"_But…what…" she sensually whispered, still her lips on his skin. She wasn't only kissing his cheek. Now, she was even biting him._

"_Not good enough for you?"_

"_God, you are devilish. And merciless."_

_As she was smiling, her teeth __gently __bit his __unshaven_ _chin._

"_And you can be late."_

"_Nope, I can't. I'm not like you. Your colleagues are corpses, and they'll never blame you if you don't cut them in time, but me?! With Kate, Castle and Gates…I just can't. They're too…"_

_Lanie stopped kissing him and looked up._

"_Javier?"_

"_What?"_

"_Shut up."_

_And she was back on his lips, while her left hand was already starting to open the zip of his pants._

_Fine, he gave up. He couldn't argue. The truth? He didn't want to._

_" If I get fired…I'll let you fix it…with Gates." He stammered, and he could hear and feel her laughing against his mouth._

"_Yeah. Deal." _

_She barely had time to breathe as Javier was already kissing her again, hungrily, his tongue devouring hers, while he buried his hands in her long black hair. _

_End of Flash Back_

_.  
_

Javier shook his head, helplessly trying to forget. But that was impossible.

Finally, he hadn't changed the date of the booking, but definitely cancelled it, after their break up, one year ago.

Stupid October. Stupid double dinner. Stupid "M" word. And even stupid Jenny for daring asking that kind of questions.

Again, Lanie was right... Everything could change within a few months. And everything _had_. He looked around him in the empty room, still bored as hell, but even more depressed now. He crumpled the paper in his hands and violently threw it on his desk, obsessed by the thought.

The thought of his ex-girlfriend, playfully kissing his neck, the thought of her magic hands dancing on his whole body...The thought of her priceless smile and the spark in her eyes when he had given her the envelope, that morning. Oh, God. He missed her. He missed her so much. It was _unbearable_.

He missed her, though he actually had seen her on the crime scene in the morning, even if, they hadn't talk. Of course he enjoyed seeing her on the crime scenes most of the time, when she wasn't insulting him (yet on second thought, he enjoyed it as well).

In a deep sigh, Javier grabbed his phone and quickly searched for her number. Then he raised his phone to his ear, waiting. It was a bad idea, he knew it. But he _needed_ her.

One ringing, then two. Then three. She didn't answer. He didn't bother to call another time, he could feel she wouldn't answer anyway. Probably that she was busy, having a night out with some girlfriends ... or _worse_.

Trying to get rid of his last thought, Javier quickly looked at the window and could see it was pouring outside, making the scene even more pathetic.

He missed the time where she always answered his calls.

Then, he decided to take a look at the pictures he had on his phone, feeling even more lonely and desperate. Because, yes, he was _desperate_ to see her.

Browsing around his pictures, he found the one he loved the most. From last summer. After Kate shooting, Javi had tried everything to cheer her up, and invited her for a weekend in a cute little hotel, on the end of June, not too far from the Hamptons. They had had the best time ever. He took the picture at the restaurant of the resort, the Saturday night. She was wearing a strapless green dress, and had curled her long hair a little. To him, she never had been more gorgeous. He loved this picture so much that it had been his screensaver for a long time. But after the break up, he removed it, afraid to be bother by Kevin or anyone else who would have told him that it was a bad idea, and a bad idea to even not delete it. As if he _could_ delete it.

Javier kept smiling at Lanie on the photo, captured by her and by the memory.

His beautiful ex-girlfriend was smiling on it, very close of the objective, because he was sitting next to her. He remembered how she had kissed him just after he put his phone down on the table. And how they had danced all night on some of the greatest Gloria Estefan hits. That evening, she had captivated him with every single of her moves…She was bewitching and he was under her spell. He _still_ was.

He missed _that_ Lanie. The one he could take in his arms whenever he wanted. The one he could even told he loved and cared about her, without scaring her or feeling a distance between them. The one he had taken care of, after she almost saw her best friend dying in front of her eyes.

The one that had chosen _him_, Javier Esposito, as her official boyfriend.

But all of this was gone.

Now, he was just the lonely and still addicted ex, forever waiting for her phone call and their next 'booty call' date, because at least, she still allowed him to have sex with her. But it wasn't enough. And no matter what, he was gonna wait for her. _Endlessly_.

He missed her too much.

Every hour, every minute, every single second, for one year now.

_Since you've gone away__  
__Everythings don't seem like they used to be__  
__Between you and me__  
__Cause I'm missing you._

**The End._  
_**

**Awwww I know, it's sad. And I'm honestly kinda angry at myself for writing such a depressed Javi because he's my fav, and now I wanna hug him lol. Nooooo I hate seeing him sad, really. But I also loved writing it, and I hope you enjoyed your reading. Thanks SO much for the ones who gave a try :) I love translating so...more OS to come soon I hope :)  
**

**XOXO  
**


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